I have been praying for myself for healing of arthritis which is prevalent in both my knees and both my shoulders and elbows which over the years has caused me significant pain. I hear stories within my church of how people have been prayed for and completely healed but I have never experienced the miracle that I have been hoping for. I have sometimes felt incredibly jealous of their healing and yes I know what it says in the bible about jealousy. OK then, I could dress that comment up as “I’m happy” for them but in reality I want to be healed and feel forgotten at times that my pain is not being taken away.
I spoke a few days ago in Day 38 about honesty and integrity. The healing of the blind man at Bethsaida was such a healing when God asked the man what he could see. The man stated that he could see men that looked like trees and then Jesus healed him on the second attempt. Well, I have had dozens and dozens of attempts to the point when I feel like giving up asking for prayer. My daily routine is causing me huge amounts of pain. I have been searching my soul for things that I have been dishonest with God about and have repented to the point where there’s nothing else. But still I’m feeling forgotten.
This is the first time I think that my prayers for England have been more about me and on one level I feel pretty selfish but on the other hand like John Hyde said “if I didn’t pray for myself then my prayers wouldn’t affect anything if I wasn’t around”. So Father I am asking you to completely heal me so I can continue doing your will and persist in the calling you have for my life. Amen