Staying angry with someone is rather exhausting and the only alternative that isn’t self destructive is forgiveness. I have been challenged since taking up this prayer task and sometimes when you’d rather wallow in your own anger, which is so often a recognisable part of yourself, you don’t want to let it go because it has become much like a best friend. This feeling of recognition of an emotion is one that I have often resisted letting go because I wouldn’t know how I would cope if it was no longer there. That resistant and belligerent part of me I know only too well.
I wonder how often we are resisting what God is really asking because of the unknown factor contained in this request. We can be so familiar with our emotions and to make way for something fresh and new becomes a battle within us. When we are hurt we have a natural tendency to want to hurt back. One thing I have noticed; when I have made up my mind how I’m going to deal with the situation quite often the person involved apologises completely out of the blue leaving me to unexpectedly wallow in my own discontent.
I wonder how many nations difficulties arise out of individuals being offended and their emotions being in play during a political fallout. I wonder how Israel would respond if Britain were ever to apologise for their part in the forsaken promise of betraying Israel’s trust in us as a nation. I wonder how Britain would make the first step in formally apologising to a nation that was so hurt and destroyed by the lack of trust in us as a failed guardian and facilitator of peace.
I pray earnestly for my own healing in this situation as my emotions are regularly tested to the limit. I pray that I have at least a minimal understanding of how difficult it is to forgive and walk forward in the love and peace of God. I pray that we as a nation can resist ourselves first and embrace those that need love and forgiveness. I pray for boldness and resilience to continue in the pursuit of the love of our eternal Father.