I’m sure I’ve spoken about this before but I am someone who doesn’t deal with change particularly well even though I advocate for change almost on a daily basis. Change is scary and unsettling but when I’ve finally embraced it I often wonder what all the fuss was about. Then, something else will need to change or things happen that I have no control over and I go through the whole familiar routine of fear and trepidation. I forget about the past things that God was so faithful in completing in me through the last lot of change, I guess that shows just how fickle us human beings can be at times.
When I sit down in the peace and tranquillity of my own home and reflect on how things have changed for me over the last 20 years I am in awe at God’s faithfulness and desire to see me change for the better. I have unfulfilled dreams that I know are achievable because God has placed them in my heart.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
The thing is to delight yourself in the things of God, everything he has asked you to do just get on with it. I know that’s easy to say and I feel as though I’m ministering to myself as I write but the only thing that holds us back from fulfilling God’s work in us is our own insecurities. The prize of eternal life is so precious and easily squandered I guess there is an eternal thief that wants to take it all away simply because he can and for no other reason than he couldn’t have it for himself.
I’ve met many people over the years who spend their whole life praying and waiting on God. I believe that God gave me a very clear example of how we expect God to move and all the time we have the answers ourselves. Just before I got married I went away to a retreat, way out in the country. I wanted to hear God about the biggest change in my life to date. If I was making a mistake I needed to hear. The retreat was a huge mansion house with sash windows and built of stone. The first night I stayed a huge storm occurred and during the night the sash windows kept me awake as they banged loudly with every gust of wind. I was also cold and just wrapped my self up as tightly as I could as I moaned the whole night away. The storm subsided and while I was tired and cold I made my way down to reception and just volleyed my discontent towards the first person I saw. I feel he took delight in saying “did you turn the heating on?” before he said another word I returned to my room embarrassed. Indeed on the other side of the room was a radiator with a big sign saying ON and OFF. I drew the curtains back and there were 2 big wedges on a piece of string with a diagram telling you where to place them in order to stop the windows banging. When I saw this I just laughed at the ridiculousness of my attitude and felt God say to me very clearly. People pray and ask me to intervene when they have gifts and talents they never consider using. I have given you a brain and abilities and yet you still come to me asking to change things that you are more than capable of doing yourself.
It is certainly a lesson I have held in my heart and have held it as a reminder of how we can spend many years wasting our time praying when God has already spoken.